Gender. I read something today that REALLY made me want to talk about this, but I don’t even know where to begin. I was trying to think of all the proper, politically correct, non-offensive ways to say what I want to say, but screw it. I’m just gonna come out and say it. Gender extremists and the PC police have caused more gender confusion than should have ever been necessary, and fuck them for it.
For years, we socially acknowledged straight. Then gay & bi. Then trans & cis. And you would think that would have pretty much covered the gamut, but nope. Now we have agender, bigender, gender fluid, demi and a whole lot of new terms popping up daily that I can’t even keep up anymore. And in my opinion, this is stupid. Extremist groups, in their attempt to change the world by perverting and hijacking the work of true equality and rights groups, have fucked us all. People are being told “you should be this, and you should feel that” non-stop by the same people that are screaming “Let everyone be themselves!”. What they mean is ‘let everyone be themselves under this new term we have created as a platform for another angry extremist cause’. In a panic to not be “too male” or “too female” and to be the socially acceptable version of “equal”, people are now confused as all shit. We don’t even know what we are anymore, and we have to take to the internet to get public clarification. This is sad.
This is an actual question posted on the “gender fluid” gender.wikia page a few days ago. Sometimes she feels like a girl, sometimes she’s not sure. She doesn’t really want all the physical attributes that are typical of a female body, but likes being feminine.
You know what she is? FUCKING NORMAL! So what if you don’t want to have boobs? Some women don’t want to have a butt, and some women do. Some women want big boobs, some want to look like Keira Knightley. Some women act very girly, and some act a lot like guys. A desire for or against any specific physical trait does not make you more or less of any gender. It’s called a “personal preference” and it’s what makes us individuals.
I myself grew up like a boy. Not joking, I really did. A little back story:
For the entirety of my mothers pregnancy, the doctors said she was having a boy. My father was expecting his only biological child to be a boy, right up until the day I was born. You would think that having a girl pop out would have dashed my father’s dreams of father-son life, but it didn’t. It didn’t matter that I was born female, my father was determined that he was STILL going to raise a son. My father owns a construction company. After third grade, I was pulled out of public school and began homeschooling so that I could grow up on construction sites learning the family business. I spent my life surrounded, day in and day out, by grown men in construction. I didn’t have a lot of social interaction with children my own age. I didn’t grow up with the awareness of “male” and “female” social habits. I wasn’t even aware growing up that I “acted like a boy” because I wasn’t around other little girls for comparison. I had no idea that I wasn’t a “normal girl”. Until about the age of 13, I had a wardrobe of nothing but pants and t-shirts (still true today for the most part), and much to the dismay of my mother, had an aversion to hairbrushes. My older sister (my mothers from a previous marriage) had left home by the time I was 8 (ran away) so I didn’t even have a big sister to help guide me in the ways of womanhood. My mother worked full time, so I didn’t get to spend as much time with her growing up as I would have liked either. My examples and influences during my childhood were grown men.
To this day, I don’t feel very “feminine”. I have made great efforts to learn to “be a girl”, but at my core, it’s just not there. I usually feel like a guy. I often get frustrated with women, and speak about them as if I am not one of them. This is probably just a left over reaction from my childhood. I have always been accepted and treated as one of the guys, and it was usually females who tried to make me feel bad or insecure for who I am. I still enjoy all the things I did growing up. I love guns, ATVs, working on cars and tractors (yes, I can both operate and repair tractors), remodeling my house and building things in the workshop just for the hell of it. My only magazine subscription is to “Wood Magazine” (recently changed from another wood magazine I was subscribed to, because I like this one more :P). I don’t have very many female friends, because I just don’t have much in common with them. I am working on this though. I understand how important it can be to have female friends, but I tend to bond with men more often. Thank God I have a husband who is very secure and trusting. He knew who I was when he met me, and knows he never has a reason to worry or be jealous. I am so thankful that I found a man who can let me be who I am without ever making me feel bad for it. Which brings up a fun little counter side. My husband is not the “typical” standard of masculine. When we first became friends, I actually thought he might be gay! He doesn’t enjoy any form of manual labor, and is quick to call me any time the car or anything in the home needs to be repaired. It’s just not his thing, and that’s ok. That does not make him any less of a man, and I am not any less of a woman.
The fact that I feel like, what society would describe as, “male” or “masculine” makes many people want to throw a “gender fluid” or “polygender” label on me. I reject this label, and then I am told I am in denial and can’t change what I am. I’m sorry, but who the fuck are YOU to tell me what gender I am? I am a woman. I may not fit what has been accepted as the standard of women for hundreds of years, but that’s why I am a feminist. I reject the time accepted standard. That’s what needs to change, not our label on people. I don’t care what anyone says, I am a normal woman. I may not be like all other women, but that doesn’t invalidate my status. I am just different, and as a person, I am entitled to be different. I love my individuality and who I am.
Stop creating all these new labels to try and classify people into different groups. That is really the opposite of equality in so many ways. I am a person, and so is everyone else. They should not be having to go through so much gender confusion. These labels make us feel “different” and awkward. That’s just bullshit. If you identify as male, be male. If you identify as female, be female. If you’re not sure what you identify as, I’m sorry. You shouldn’t be having to deal with that kind of confusion from a label happy society, and I truly hope you find whatever answer you are looking for soon. It shouldn’t have had to be this hard.
It pains me that people like the girl who posted that wikia comment are having to feel this way. It should never have happened. If she sometimes feels like a girl, likes feeling like a girl, and likes dressing feminine, then she shouldn’t be confused about calling herself a girl just because she is not the “standard” cookie cutter version of a girl. How about instead of trying to slap new labels on everyone who’s different than you, we broaden what is accepted. “She’s not a woman like I’m a woman, so she must be something else! *Creates new label*. Fuck that! How about you broaden your opinion of what a woman is and let it be open and accepting to more than just “women like you”? There are no right or wrong feelings. There is no set mold to which you must conform. You do NOT have to be just like everyone else. That would make the world really fucking boring. There is no right or wrong way to be a woman or a man. Just be you.
Please, don’t let other people put labels on you, especially for their own agendas. *Hugs & Luv you all!*