I can’t count how many “What he REALLY wants!” articles I have seen in magazines or on the internet. The popularity of these “advice” guides must be a billion dollar industry unto itself!
In this modern age of feminism, it would be really easy for me to go off on everything wrong with these articles. Truth is, I have had to delete and rewrite this article about seven times now, because I keep wanting to do exactly that!
That is not what this piece is about. Instead, I want to look at our male counterparts version of the “How to land the perfect guy!” guide.
Yes, believe it or not, many men are just as obsessed with trying to figure out “How to get her to notice you!” and “What it takes to keep her!”. Opinion and advice columns on dating have always dominated magazines geared towards women, but in today’s digital world, many men are finding it easier to seek out answers to their questions on love and romance…. right from the privacy of their own cellphone browsers. (I KNOW we all just had the same thought… take a minute to giggle over it and then lets move on…:P )
The irony to me here is that for years I have heard my male friends tell me how ‘wrong’ those articles geared towards women are. How they are so far off-base from what men really think and want. How they are really turning us into more of what they DONT want. Many male friends have said to me “Those articles brainwash women! I can’t believe women believe this crap!” when asked about the validity of the claims made in the dating guides.
So here’s my question: Are the dating advice articles geared towards men getting it right? Have they been more successful at tapping into “What women REALLY want!” than their female-focused counterparts? Let’s find out… 😛
Recently, askmen.com posted an article titled “Top 10 Proven Ways To Improve Your Attractiveness: Get 15% Handsomer Now With These 10 Easy Steps” on their website.
I asked a few women to read the ‘top ten’ list and give us their feedback on how much they agreed with the advice given in the article. And as a bonus, I decided to also get the opinion of a man and see what HE thought about the articles advice! Here are the women (oh yeah… and that ‘token’ guy I threw in. :P) and what they had to say:
10. Remove excess body hair
A study conducted in New Zealand and California that investigated women’s preferences regarding men’s physical traits found that when shown photographs of men with varying amounts of body hair, women gave higher ratings to those with less and less. Ratings for attractiveness tended to decrease as the amount of chest and abdominal hair increased. To look better topless before a big date, shave the night before, wax a couple of days earlier, or start investing in laser hair removal or thinking about other hair removal trends in general.Time It Takes: Ten minutes (or more, if you’ve got a lot of hair).
S – I’ve had hairy mates and non-hairy mates. I’ve found that I have the ability to find either way to be sexy (as a state of mind.) What I DO NOT find sexy is when they try to be fake about it. Excessive manscaping is gross!
Deb – No I don’t agree.. It isn’t something I have deemed important in a relationship… Personality is the first thing I notice.
Tiffany – I think men with chest hair are hot, not like a furry bear rug, but chest hair is manly. To tell a man to wax or invest in laser hair removal just to make women attracted to you is vain.
Randon – I’m hairy as hell and although it may be a lot of hard work and effort it really does make at least 90% of women more happy to see smooth skin rather than a woolly mammoth.
9. Brood for short-term pairings
In one study, when women were asked to rank photographs of men in terms of carnal sexual attraction rather than for long-term-relationship potential, the women selected men who looked broody or proud as being more appealing than smiling men. The takeaway message here is that if you’re looking for a short-term fling or a one-night stand, being a little moody might make things easier.Time It Takes: A few minutes of negative thinking can put you in a brooding frame of mind.
S – A brooding/moody/mysterious guy is more likely to get laid. God help the female who thinks that he is going to make a good partner, though!
Deb – What a bunch of crap!
Tiffany – We should not be promoting one night stands or affairs. Being a jerk isn’t attractive, it’s a huge turn off for me. Since when did it become the norm to promote sex out of marriage?
Randon – I really don’t know if I can agree or disagree with this one… I mean I’m not one for smiling a lot in pictures but never had a woman looking for a fling or a one night stand. I’m gonna have to stay neutral on this one…
8. Deal with bad breath right away
Actually talking to someone is key to getting to know them and how good — or bad — your breath smells is as important to any first impression as anything. Don’t be lazy because your breath could be the difference between you being alone tonight and not.Time It Takes: 45 seconds.
S – Yes…bad breath – and bad teeth, for that matter – are an immediate turn-off. I’m a smoker, and I make sure to have white teeth and a breath mint on hand at all times, due to such knowledge.
Deb – Yes. Bad breath is a distraction from any mental progress progressions
Tiffany – Absolutely! Please brush your teeth.. if you have funky breath problems.. carry mints.. no one likes anyone up in their face with stinky breath.
Randon – Agree… If you can’t take the time to brush your teeth it kinda makes me wonder what other things you don’t take the time to take care of… And 2 minutes is the correct amount of time you should spend brushing your teeth.
7. Wear shoes with half-inch heels
Although your female friends might tell you that personality is what really counts, research has revealed that women show a strong preference toward men who are taller than them. This finding doesn’t mean you have to be a pro basketball player to have lots of luck with the ladies, but it does suggest that you can waste less time finding a date by confining your search to women who are a couple of inches shorter than you. You can also give yourself more of a height advantage by slipping on a pair of loafers with a half-inch heel.Time it takes: Five seconds (not counting the time it takes to buy shoes)
S – Yes. I like a guy to be taller than me. I’ve been with a guy or two who is shorter, and been able to find them sexy due to the circumstances…but, if I have my ruthers, I want a guy taller (and heavier) than I. I think it makes me feel more feminine.
Deb – Hmm. May be a little valid.. As I have never dated a short man, but of course I’m short myself , so maybe they would remind me of dating a very young person.
Tiffany – False advertising!! Eventually he has to take those shoes off right??
Randon – I agree… A taller girl makes me feel like less of a man, don’t get me wrong there are a lot of tall beautiful women out in the world but that’s why there is a lot of tall men out there as well.
6. Stand up straight
Similar to the way women show a tendency toward taller men, they also look for men with superior posture. There may be several reasons why improving your posture could increase your chances with the opposite sex. Notably, straightening your spine obviously makes you seem taller, but it also might make you appear more confident, more dominant and more open to being approached.Time It Takes: One second.
S – Yes. I practiced my posture/walk/movements at a young age, in order to appear very confident while simultaneously graceful. I am attracted to a guy who can pull of the same.
Deb – And maybe it would make you seem to be happier with life in general
Tiffany – Yes true! A man who holds his head up high and has confidence is totally hot.
Randon – Agree… I used to hunch over a lot until a friend told me to sit up straight no matter where I am and I did get a lot better responses from women.
5. Create a masculine jaw
Women in the most fertile phase of their cycle appear to prefer men with chiseled jawlines. Scientists hypothesize that the high testosterone levels responsible for the appearance of masculine facial traits at puberty also suppress immune functioning, meaning that men with this facial feature may have strong immune systems and therefore be a good catch from a genetic perspective. Men with small chins can use facial hair to create the look of a more prominent jawline. More specifically, a beard that covers the chin area will add volume to a smaller face and make it seem very manly.Time It Takes: A few weeks, depending on how fast your facial hair grows.
S – Lol! Yes, I agree that men with weak chins try to cover it up with a beard. That was an old “Mad” comics strip from my childhood. As for my preferences, I find that a weaker-chin man appeals to my desire to find a man with feminine-like qualities, and a ‘chiseled’ jaw guy looks to me to be too neanderthal/beef-headed for my tastes.
Deb – I really don’t prefer beards… But I don’t like ‘weak chins’ either.. I would think it depends on the whole person
Tiffany – Mmmm facial hair is hot!! And so are a strong jaw line.. totally agree.
Randon – Agree… I love my beard
4. Shave to promote symmetry
A huge body of research supports the notion that women find men with symmetrical faces more attractive. To create a more symmetrical-looking mug, try playing around with the hair on your face.Those with beards and mustaches can experiment with different looks to determine which styles help create more balance between the two halves of their face.Time It Takes: 10 minutes.
S – Yes……females do it, too…with eyebrow shaping, hairstyles, and shadings of the face. Humans are more attracted to the symmetrical.
Deb – Yep.. I think certain people look more interesting with this type of balance.. And some look grungy when it is overdone
Tiffany – Again not so sure about this one.. what about when he shaves it all off eventually? Isnt this the same thing as women contouring their faces. Guys always complaining women are faking their faces.
Randon – Agree… I can’t really explain more than this article did
3. Use clothes to create a v-shape
In study after study, v-shaped bodies are deemed more attractive by women. The ideal v-shaped body has a waist-to-hip ratio of approximately 0.9-1.0 and a chest-to-waist ratio of around 1.33. While exercising should represent your primary strategy for achieving your ultimate body, you can also fake a better body with the right clothes. To give the impression of broader shoulders, invest in a couple of well-tailored blazers and live in them. If your focus is on slimming your torso, favor v-neck tops that skim over your body so it doesn’t fit too loosely or tightly.Time It Takes: Five seconds.
S – Yes…females do it, too….humans are attracted to proportion in the same way they are attracted to symmetry.
Deb – I do like nice shoulders.. But not a body builder look.
Tiffany – Dressing to impress is always nice. I prefer a man with a big chest and back, waist isn’t as important I don’t mind a little tummy it’s sexy to me
Randon – I kinda don’t agree so much… I’m a fat guy and it doesn’t matter what I wear it’s pretty damn clear that I am a big guy, I guess the right clothes can make you feel comfortable in your own shell but I can’t see my clothes helping me out to look slim
2. Don’t put on too much cologne
The way you smell may play an important role in whether or not a given woman will be attracted to you. Some studies on the science of scent and attraction have suggested that women unconsciously use their sense of smell to determine how different genetically a man is from them (essentially, the more different your genetic material is, the more attracted to you she will be). The trick here is to let your natural smell come through as much as possible in order to attract a woman with whom you’ll have dynamite chemistry, so spritz on cologne with a light hand.Time It Takes: A few seconds.
S – I AGREE! I don’t think people should be lying with altering their pheromones. Natural smell can be a big tell. Did you know that perfume companies are messing around with actually putting OTHER PEOPLE’S phermones into perfumes? Can you imagine how – if smell is an evolutionary indicator of good gene match – messed up the offspring are gonna be?
Deb – Very true.. To much cologne could be a distraction.., as for myself, scent is important.. But not . Stench’
Tiffany – Smell really is everything.. you can tell your mate by how much you like how they smell. Totally agree with this one.
Randon – Agree, everyone has a natural scent that they give off and heavy cologne really masks that smell that could determine if a woman sees you as someone she would want to pick as a fitting mate
If you consider yourself a player or you would like to become one, it’s time to start logging more time at the gym, as studies have shown that women looking for a short-term fling gravitate toward muscular males. Fortunately, as long as you’re willing to put in regular sweat sessions and eat properly, a cut body is an achievable goal for most guys. Do be careful, however, not to overdo it, as research has shown that women prefer toned men to ultramuscular guys.Time It Takes: One hour or more per day.
S – Yes…I agree, unfortunately. This is also why I tend to stay away from guys who spend very much time at the gym/on exercise beyond health-only purposes. Shallow asses!
Deb – Yes..
Tiffany – Once again.. stop promoting promiscuous life styles.. none of that is good. Exercise is good for anyone
Randon – Agree… Everyone both male and female want that Mr. or Mrs. Perfect…. It’s just natural